First I wish to make this clear. The author of this article is Mommy Jenn (AKA Jennifer Loraine). If anyone has her direct e-mail address, please contact me and let me know so I can post it here. Credit needs to be given where credit it due. :) Sadly with the internet sites go up and down so fast and so much great information is being lost. This is the only Mommy/Daddy manual I have ever seen online and wanted to make sure it didn't end up lost in cyber space. The site the following is from is: http://www.littleab.com/ABcare/mamamanual.html LittleAB's web site has lots of great information. I recommend a visit to his site when you have some free time. :) So here is the manual:
This manual was created for new parents of Adult Babies in the hope that they will understand the needs of their infantine charges. If the needs of both the parent and the baby can be met, then the relationship will be pleasing and happy for both parent and baby. Infantilism is a much-misunderstood psychological need that has been poorly researched by the medical and psychiatric community which has led to official government oppression as well as unwarranted attacks on ABs from members of scientific groups.
Why Are Spouses and Friends of Adult Babies Willing to Become Their Parents?
Why should a man allow his wife or a woman permit her husband to descend into what superficially appears to be at best a highly neurotic or possibly a schizophrenic or psychotic desire to relive their babyhood? What joy can the parent of an Adult Baby find in forcing or manipulating his or her spouse into an adorable costume of diapers, plastic baby panties and baby clothes? Why should a highly paid professional man or woman need to be treated like a baby?
Why Do Adult Babies Need To Play Baby Roles?
Why do some people feel the need to play baby games and what is the attraction for them? Why should an otherwise normal adult male or female feel compelled to play the role of a baby again? The answer is psychological need. Most ABs, for one reason or another, feel the need to relive the time when they were loved without being judged. They long for the parent who cared for them no matter how naughty they were or how messy or soggy their diapers were. Their babyhood was a time of universal approval, when every adult neighbor and relative was enchanted by their silliest act. For them, it was the best of times; a time of innocence, a time of constant love, a time of security where worries about money, future and daily needs did not exist. The wonder is not that ABs long to return to the love and security of babyhood, but that there are not more of them!
Growing Up and Becoming an Adult Baby
Adult babies usually have rather horrible memories of childhood. They seem to have either very loving and caring parents who kept them as babies or had a childhood was an unending nightmare of pain, lovelessness, loneliness, despair and humiliation. It is not uncommon to find ABs whose predilection for age regression was firmly emplaced by the age of four and continued throughout their childhood into their adult years. If they were bedwetters, thumbsuckers or had incidences of fecal incontinence, they were either the targets of their schoolmates or of parents who didn’t understand that there is a very wide range in how children mature physically and mentally. Parents of toddlers as young as the age of two forced toilet training upon their immature babies during the late Forties through the Fifties, using spankings and humiliation to drive home their desire to have "socially acceptable" children. Other, slightly older children managed to survive that period only to have their parents, relatives, neighbors or babysitters put them back in diapers when they had an uncontrollable bowel or bladder accidents due to stress caused by schools and playmates. Even later, adolescents and teenagers who sucked their thumbs and wet their beds were often ridiculed and diapered by their parents. Infantilism was "officially" considered a severe form of psychotic dementia during that period and the behavior of a AB’s parents toward their children’s infantine behavior often reflected the parent’s terror and apprehension of familial insanity that was mirrored by society as a whole during that time. Adult babies whose parents coddled them rarely did so in a rational way during that time. Instead of allowing a child to retreat back into the security of babyhood at home when his or her psyche dictated a profound (and usually temporary) need for a parent’s intense love, the parent would often times engage the school nurse to chastise (and inadvertently foster) the infantile behavior of the child through the use of diapers. The most proper approach should have been a loving acceptance back into the security of babyhood of a school-aged child to allow the child to mature within the secrecy and security of the home. Parental ridicule for purposes of behavior modification using dresses and feminine baby attire only produced profound sexual confusion and paraphilias later in life. Humiliation was often the deadly dart that affixed Sissy AB's to that place in time which ensured that they couldn’t mature!
The Psychology of AB's Who Manifest Their Need for Infantile Behavior After the Onset of Adulthood
The psychology of adults who manifest infantilist behavior after the onset of sexual and social maturity usually fall into one of two classes; either their infantilism is a delayed manifestation of a prior need which was not addressed or physical impairments or conditions caused an adult mind to seek refuge from a humiliating physical disability which made them feel babyish. The first group is characterized by having strong parents surrounded by a rigid social structure, such as that found in small Northern Texas communities. Religious beliefs, in particular fundamentalist beliefs, may have inhibited the individual from fantasizing or consideration of infantilist behavior during his or her younger years. As the individual enters adulthood, their growing informational horizons provided by the Internet or moving to a large city for a job may expose them to infantilism and Adult Babies. The onset of behavioral changes may be quite sudden, especially in cases where the proto-AB’s sexual partner or roommate is already acquainted with Adult Baby society and grants the individual the freedom to explore the baby side of his or her individuality. These AB's usually have extreme guilt complexes in which their SuperId punishes the Id for it’s infantile needs. A significant fraction of this group includes those who have undergone psychiatric counseling and who have come to recognize their long suppressed need to be babied. This group as a whole has a higher tendency to couple more adult sexual behaviors with infantilism than ABs as a whole. A much smaller fraction of this group are those I term, "The Balancers". These individuals are usually male and are extremely high social performers. They are characterized by the social power they wield as adults. Senators, governors, judges, legislators, CEOs of major corporations, etc., fall into this category. They seem to need to balance the power that they’ve been granted by society with a desire to temporarily be just as powerless as an AB as they are powerful adults. Strong coupling of infantile needs with their adult sex drives is very common among this group and intense paraphilias are not uncommon. The second group is characterized by having a crippling disease or accident which has damaged either bowel or bladder control or both. Those individuals who retain their sensory function in the genitoanal region after having lost potty control seem to be the most prone to this adaptation. This group also includes males who have become impotent. The biological mechanism is clearly understood from a physiological/sexual standpoint. There are literally millions of sensory nerve endings in the genitoanal region of both males and females. The feeling of a warm, wet diaper approximates the sensation of an "orgasmic blush" or filling of the surface capillaries of the skin with blood in that region at the moment of climax. Since this sensation is hard-wired to be pleasurable via the human genome, both babies and adults enjoy this feeling. Thus it can easily be seen why warm, soggy diapers can be an intensely sexually arousing sensation to the wearer. The effect of the sensation is so strong that impotent men who have difficulty in obtaining an erection may find themselves climaxing without needing a prior erection. Similarly, incontinent individuals may find themselves sexually stimulated several times a day as their body voids into their protective garments. The psychological adaptation of incontinent individuals is more complex, but can be understood. Consider the hypothetical case of a strong man who received a spinal injury on the job with left him with sensation in the genitoanal region but robbed him of his bowel and bladder control. Suddenly, he is helpless and wets and messes his diapers like an infant. He is impotent as well, but each time his body voids into his diaper, he feels sexually aroused. He knows that he can’t have sex, but the drive is there nonetheless and he’s being sexually stimulated several times a day. The psychological need to be loved, touched and cuddled is still there, but his condition has literally left him with the masculine resources of a baby boy. He feels guilty about his loss of potty training, but is helpless to do anything about it. His psychological needs, his sensorium, his guilt and his dependency are on a collision course with his male training. What can he do? Becoming an AB is one answer for individuals of this type. Their caregivers can become parent figures who supply not only a clean bottom and fresh diaper, but the loving acceptance that they need. This is the same sort of acceptance that they received from their Mommy’s when they were babies. Their guilt is assuaged because babies aren’t held accountable for wet and messy diapers. They can accept their behavior as an AB better than they can as a "normal" adult. It’s a very healthy resolution to an almost impossible problem. I would like to add a short discussion at this point about AB's who are not obviously medically challenged by potty control, but who have life long problems with either urinary or fecal incontinence. In many ways, they find themselves bound by the same type of problem as an accident victim, but cannot point to a disease or accident as the source of their failure to control their bowels or bladders. This group of AB's usually had horrendous childhoods and suffers from massive guilt complexes built up over a lifetime. They often have experienced cold indifference or humiliating accusations from the medical community due to their lack of control. Psychological impotence with women is rather common among this group as is homosexuality. Theirs is a particularly difficult existence. As these individuals grow older, the strain of daily living drives them inexorably to find a means for them to find love and acceptance for who they are.
The Sexual Behavior of AB's
The psychosexual behavior of AB’s should be separated from that of DLs (Diaper Lovers). Diaper Lovers or DL's, have fully functioning adult sex drives but enjoy the sensation of wetting and/or messing diapers while wearing them. It is possible that some DLs are hidden ABs, but it is the manifestation of additional infantile behavioral components that defines an AB. Since the biological mechanism that causes the pleasure of wearing wet diapers has previously been discussed, this section will concern itself with the overt sexual behavior of ABs. Since the time of manifestation and the cause of AB behavior are manifold, AB's as a group display the full spectrum of sexual behaviors. Some are celibate, some are homosexual without baby games except upon occasion, some are heterosexual without baby games except upon occasion, some are solely infantile and require daily care like a true infant, and most are a mix of adult and baby behaviors. Paraphilia (sexual attraction to an object) is more common that the non-AB population. The most common paraphilia are (as would be expected) diapers, followed closely by plastic pants, pacifiers, and baby bottles. Fascination with breast feeding is common among ABs. One of the defining behaviors of an AB is passivity in sexual roles. For rather obvious reasons, this must be true or they would not fulfill the profile of a baby. Serial murders or murderous attacks by AB's are unheard of in criminal annals, although a number of cases of aberrant AB's who have dressed in baby clothes and paraded around parks or asked to be cared for at Daycare centers have been noted. In none of these cases was the intent to assault been established. These aberrant behaviors seem to stem from a need to find someone to care for them in the most innocent of infantile ways. This aberrancy is not criminal, but results from a truly child like lack of judgement which appears to be motivated by an intense need to find a parental type caregiver. This is not a group which seeks to assault small children, rather there is a universal abhorrence of child molesters and pedophiles among AB's. In their minds, ABs ARE babies, so attacks on babies of any age is utter anathema to them! The single most quasi-criminal sexual act that ABs perform on a regular basis as a group is the collection of baby pictures. Some prosecutors have maintained that any photos of children in any context from whatever source are illegal if the possessor has a "different" sexual or social behavior pattern. This is a manifestly unconstitutionally uneven application of the law to different social groups. Even though these pictures are not derived from pornographic resources, prosecutors have used them as evidence of criminal possession of child pornography. Since these pictures are collected from public ads and commercials as well as greeting cards, the point is very debatable. AB's don’t consider pictures of the infants and babies portrayed as sexual objects in an of themselves, but the pictures serve as pictures of perfect or ideal babies or the desired babyhood that the particular AB models him or herself after or wishes. In a sense, baby pictures are more like Michelangelo’s nude sculpture of "David" as the perfect man, rather than a pornographer’s graphic photo of an adult sex act. As such, collection of these photos is a harmless act without criminal intent and is protected by the Constitution of the United States. They have the same legal status as a collection of press photos of various Presidents around the world collected by someone who had fantasies of being a president. (If an American of Asian or Middle Eastern origin were to collect the same photos, would the photos, in and of themselves, constitute certain evidence of a conspiracy to assassinate every world president? Should they be convicted on the grounds of possession of the photos themselves? If the government espoused this position, the ACLU would very rightly run to the nearest Federal court to file a test case!)
AB Guilt Complexes
AB's as a group suffer from an extremely high incidence of guilt complexes. This is understandable if post-toddler psychology is examined. There is tremendous social and parental pressure place on four and five year olds to abandon infantile behaviors and become a child rather than a baby. The pressure is so strong that the individual is easily led to adopt social convention as being right for them, causing early cognitive dissonance which is often sublimated to return later in childhood or the teenaged years during periods of intense stress. Unlike the Gay community, there is no strong advocacy group to protect the rights of ABs and protest unfair treatment by the police, physicians, landlords, etc. Most ABs feel extremely alienated, and often believe that they are the only individuals in the world with their particular needs. This feeling of anomie causes many ABs to believe that they are suffering from a particularly humiliating form of neurosis or psychosis, so it isn’t unusual for them to resist treatment or refuse to divulge their needs to the psychiatric community. The caregiver of an AB must be very sensitive to their babies emotional fragility and deep-seated guilt. This is particularly true of AB's who have long histories of bedwetting or anal incontinence. Strategisims which seemingly "punish" AB's for incontinence by diapering and giving extra parental baby love for potty "accidents" may help baby’s insecurity by reassuring the baby of the caregiver’s love for his or her baby. A quiet maternal or paternal voice is more effective than shouting or humiliating baby in front of others. Spankings should be avoided. If the baby tends toward alcoholism, a baby bottle of juice or formula can usually be substituted for a bottle of beer if the AB is in "baby" mode. Cuddling your baby is a must!
What Can the Spouse or Caregiver of an AB Expect to Enjoy as their Baby’s Caregiver?
Some caregivers, especially spouses or girlfriends of strong males enjoy the role reversal that allows them to run their household without effective complaint from their baby. Others enjoy the pure altruistic pleasure of mothering a mature male as if he was his or her baby. Maternalism plays a part for some, while an innocent emotional need to dominate or control the household draws others. Once one has relaxed and accepted the adult as a baby, the joys of living with a real baby open up to them. Have you ever heard a woman say at a baby shower that she longed for the pitter-pat of little feet on the floor again? Even mommy’s with grown children sometimes want a little baby to care for again! Adult Babies have the advantage that they don’t need to be carried, and can help with getting on the crib or changing table. In the event of emergency, they will react like adults. If the caregiver is smart enough to set up a "safe or code" word for the baby to indicate that he or she needs to escape the game temporarily to deal with an emergency, then your relationship with your baby will thrive! If you, as the baby’s caregiver are a woman, then the wonderful world of sensations around breast feeding and lactating are open to you! The experience of breast feeding ones baby is sexually stimulating as well as being extremely pleasurable to both baby and mother in a more direct, nurturing sense. Women who nurture male AB’s need not fear attack or date rape, because their baby is incapable of such acts. Wife beating is also precluded by their role as a baby. If a woman has tired of sex with her male AB spouse or AB lover, but still loves and cares for him or her, this is the perfect role/opportunity for you to establish a loving relationship without sex. If your male spouse has become physically injured to the extent that he can no longer be a lover, than you, as a woman, can still enjoy the same intense relationship with him on a non-sexual basis. A woman who is taking care of an adult male baby will soon experience the same hormonal changes that make one feel maternal as a new mother feels! You will feel a contentment watching your big baby at night as he drifts off to sleep in his diapers while sucking his thumb. If you breast feed him, so much the better! Soon you will find yourself enjoying being a parent of a small baby again!
The Why and How of Baby Fantasies
Why do ABs like to play parent-baby games? What is the attraction and what joy does the AB derive? There are three components to baby play that make them attractive to ABs; psychological need, physical-sensual needs as well as providing a roleplaying escape from the mundane adult world. I will explain each category in order.
How Baby Fantasies Answer Psychological Needs
As indicated previously in this monograph, AB's have a deep-seated need to be loved and accepted. This is not unusual in and of itself for any human, but their need for love manifests itself differently than in the general population. ABs have an intense need to be vulnerable and intimate with their caregiver. They thrive on being allowed to display their deepest desires to wet and mess their diapers and still have the approval of their caregiver. Playing out their fantasies allows AB's to redefine his or her psychological role in a setting that is non-judgmental. The feeling of security and confidence makes a strong contribution to the baby’s psychological health. Adult Baby fantasies grant AB's the freedom to feel. They constitute implicit permission to enjoy socially discouraged or sublimated behaviors. A diapered baby is not responsible for wetting or messing him or herself because the guilt is displaced on the parental figure. The baby can easily rationalize that his incontinence is the result of his strict parent rather than his own lack of potty control. Paraphilias like ruffled rumba plastic baby pants and baby dresses can be addressed by the parent figure without awakening the debilitating guilt monster! The baby receives a catharsis of his sublimated emotions via the classical Aristotelian storyline of misbehavior and forgiveness. Other tensions that AB's cannot resolve in their adult lives come to the fore as baby is allowed to express himself in ways that are denied him as an adult. For example, the male culture favors an "Iron Man" approach to life that does not allow weeping or crying nor a need for consolation. Neither can submission, contrition, fear or anger be allowed to express themselves in the male culture. The baby fantasy allows any and all of these emotions to be expressed without fear of consequence. Babies are expected to cry, to be fearful and fussy, so there is no guilt attached to their expression as long as the fantasy is in play. This release allows an AB to express his fears and frustrations of adult life within the safe haven of a baby fantasy. As cited before, some AB's in positions of extraordinary responsibility often seek respite from the stress of having to constantly make life and death decisions. They feel a consummate relief at being told precisely what to do and how to do it. The "gray" area of adult decisions and their confusing consequences are replaced with easy-to-understand rules of behavior and punishments. The penalty for naughtiness is clear-cut and immediate. Like a theatrical play, every move of the actors is blocked out and choreographed with a soul-satisfying script. The lure of powerlessness is a necessary component of the fantasy to absolve guilt and remove responsibility for an AB’s actions during the play. At once, all the social rules of the male world are turned on their head as he is allowed to play out his fondest daydreams. The secret self that he has hidden from the public for his entire life is suddenly allowed to come to the fore. He can be a sissy baby boy who wears precious baby girl clothing with feminine ruffles, lace and trim. If he is upset or frustrated, he can wail or cry to his heart’s content. If he needs to replay the time when he was a bedwetting school boy who was put back into diapers by exasperated parents, then his fantasy is his psycho-forum. By giving control over to his caregiver, an AB is stating, "I trust you utterly." This trust is required because of the intimacy of a baby’s role vis-à-vis his caregiver. A real baby is completely vulnerable to the acts of his caregiver as well as utterly dependent on his caregiver’s goodwill, and so too is an AB while playing the fantasy role. A baby role is, de rigueur, a humiliating role for a man and the pain of diaper rash is to be expected. This is not the sort of scenario that can be played out in a "one-night-stand". This sort of play requires a long-term commitment on behalf of both players. Indeed, the baby must learn to satisfy the needs of the parent figure as well, otherwise the game will die in it's infancy. If you look closely at a woman with her own baby, it is easy to see the emotional bond between them. Without this bond, mothers across the world would give up their slobbering, incontinent, helpless babies to orphanages to be raised. Both baby and his or her caregiver need to be aware of the need to create this bond so that both parties’ needs are met. Frequent smiles from both baby and parent are only one of the keys to establishing the bond. For the caregiver, baby talk to one’s baby establishes his or her baby’s role, while delighted chuckles, grins, and coos constitute the baby’s acceptance of his or her role and reassures the parent of the bond between them. For a long-term relationship to survive, the caregiver must become familiar with his or her babies’ emotional needs in the fantasy. If the babies’ needs are satisfied, then the baby will become utterly loyal to his caregiver. For example, if the relationship is a standard heterosexual marriage with the wife as the mother figure, she need not ever worry about her "little" man stepping out on her. The bond created by the Mommy’s love for her baby makes it unthinkable for him to "stray" from his wife/mommy and be unfaithful. The chains of love that are formed are impossible for him to break! As long as baby knows that his mommy will be responsive to his adult needs and continue to love him both as an adult and a baby, he will stay at her side. On the plus side, a perfectly secure baby may be able to switch between adult sexual roles and his or her baby role! If the caregiver violates the trust of an AB, then the sequence of emotions of frustration, disappointment and dissatisfaction might follow. These emotions may be succeeded by periods of deep clinical depression, alcoholic binges, open displays of anger and emotional withdrawal from the AB. It is imperative that the caregiver make an honest attempt to understand their babies’ needs and continually readjust their insight as their babies’ needs change. Some very happy marriages of ABs and parents have been created by following the above guidelines.
How Baby Fantasies Answer Physical-Sensual Needs
As stated before, there are a number of physiological reasons why AB's find sensual pleasure in wearing wet diapers. To this should be added the physical pleasure of voiding one’s bowels. But these are mere sensations of using one’s diapers; how do other physical components play a role? Because most AB's suffer from severe social isolation, they suffer from a lack of physical contact as well. These individuals, in the main, have endured a lack of human contact and touch since early babyhood. As such, they are naturally "starved" for human touch and affection. They need a human’s touch just as strongly as a hungry baby needs his formula. The touch that they want is not necessarily sexual, in fact, many AB's abhor sexual stimulation while in baby mode. They need to passively feel a soothing parent’s touch on their skin, nothing more. Warm, wet diapers, a soft fleecy onesie, a warm bottle of formula before sleep and a cold bottle of juice when they awake is part of the baby sensorium that they are attempting to recapture. They also enjoy a soothing rub with baby powder during diaper changes (along with the sweet perfume of baby powder) and gentle baby massages. In short, they enjoy the same sensory feelings that a real baby does. It takes very little time for a parent to add these attractions to his or her repertoire and the response from the baby in question is usually excited delight! AB's enjoy being "mommied" or "daddied" because it feels good. If a male AB orgasms due to the game or the soiled/wet condition of his diapers, he will be rewarded with an exceptionally intense and prolonged climax. Female AB's usually climax because of the feeling of love and security that their caregivers surround them with rather than the condition of their diapers. Even so, female AB's can have the same sort of overwhelming orgasms that AB males have from wet diapers and their caregiver’s unrestrained love.
How Baby Fantasies Answer Roleplaying Needs
Have you, as an AB caregiver, ever wanted to escape? It’s natural for caregivers to want to escape their role as a mommy or daddy at times. No matter how fulfilling and pleasant one's daily life is, everyone needs to escape from our daily adult roles. Whether we are responsible adults, dedicated and loyal workers, dutiful family members or AB's, we all need a safe place of refuge in which to regroup, reorganize and rest before we go out into the adult world again. The more stressful our daily role is, the further we become estranged from our own deepest impulses, and the more we need an escape from the demands and limitations of mundane existence. The infant screams of the baby of the house to be fed, changed or cuddled can be overwhelming at times. But if you, as the caregiver, feel that way, how must the AB who has surrendered themselves to you must feel? Their entire life has been so overwhelming that many of them have attempted suicide. Most of them would die rather than allow the outside world discover their powerless, impotent baby self. They are in desperate need of a stage in which they can play out their weaknesses and needs. They need a psycho-forum in which it is safe to surrender themselves to a parental figure. Their subconsciousness’s are often frozen in a timeless and ancient memory loop wherein they need to find the escape of replaying the moment that psychologically damaged them. You, as their caregiver, are their hope, salvation and love of their life. They have entrusted you with their bodies and souls. Some AB's use alcohol, drugs or gambling to transcend their mundane adult lives, but these activities are generally both destructive and unsatisfying. Escapes provided by a rich fantasy life, however, can be both constructive and extraordinarily fulfilling. Shared fantasies foster true intimacy. By overcoming the stifling of the inner self, fantasies allow babies and their caregivers to express the and realize their inner needs and best potentials. To want love is to be human, to give love is divine!
How Caregivers Can Address an Adult Baby’s Fantasy Needs
The Mommy Role
The wife or female friend of a male AB who plays the role of a mommy has a variety of feminine roles that she can play; does she want to be a mommy of an older baby, mommy of a young baby, a babysitter or simply a friend to the baby? Will she help in the roleplay or simply allow the AB the freedom to behave like a baby? If she chooses the role of Mommy or Babysitter, the power that her friend or partner has surrendered is intoxicating. She has complete power over her baby! Mommy’s should remember the rede, "Power is corrupting and absolute power is absolutely corrupting!" Baby boys with a wife who has assumed the role of their mommy are attempting to experience time travel back to their babyhood. As a baby, the act of the play forces him into a mindset of the eternal now. He only experiences sensations and has no future plans or expectations. He feels rather than thinks. He has no adult responsibilities or duties. All he wishes is to passively lie back and allow his mommy to reintroduce the soothing feelings of suckling warmed formula from a bottle, or peeing and messing in his diapers accompanied by pleasant diaper changes. If he feels sleepy, he can nap because he has no chores or responsibilities. When he is hungry, his Mommy will feed him and when he is dirty, he will be bathed. Nothing is left to chance, rather he knows of a certainty that his Mommy will take care of his every need. During his bathes or diaper changes, he is assured that his caretaker will accept baby behavior like sucking his thumb or the toes on his feet.
The Daddy Role
The Daddy of an AB who plays the parental role of a father is more restricted in his role, but on the other hand, his absolute authority over the baby is sine non qua of a paternal role. The power that his powerful role is less intoxicating then it is to a female caregiver, although being able to deliver baby love in a parental fashion is more difficult for most men. The roles for a male caregiver are that of a babysitter, a big brother or a Daddy. If the male caregiver wishes to be responsive to their baby charges, they must study and accept the role of a person who changes soiled diapers, feeds and nourishes their baby as well as has a keen insight into the clothes and settings in which their baby is comfortable. Daddies of AB's are different sorts of parents who are naturally attracted to baby girls if they are heterosexual and baby boys if they are Gay. Nonetheless, all the instructions above for Mommies of ABs apply to Daddies as well.
Constructing the AB Fantasy: The Basic Elements of the AB Audiences’ Need
An Adult Baby fantasy should be designed to make the baby feel loved and protected on the one hand, or thoroughly embarrassed and punished on the other before the caregiver makes the baby feel loved and protected in spite of his infantile naughtiness. In short, the fantasy is a re-creation of the AB’s infancy. A careful caregiver will see to it that the roleplaying script, costumes and settings all maintain baby’s illusion of an all-powerful, loving parent in charge of their helpless, yet secure baby.
The parent and baby should agree upon a "safety" word that ends the fantasy immediately. This is especially important for babies who want to be spanked or tied into their crib. While Mama Jenn doesn’t endorse these sorts of games, it is important for all AB's to have an immediate "out" of the fantasy in case of dire need or panic.
The Fantasy Storyline or Script
Initially, the baby-caregiver should have the most simple script of baby play possible. Babies by definition are unable to have a conversation, so no communication other than baby babble should be part of the script. (Note: in psycho-dramas of this sort, it is imperative that a "safe" word or verbal signal be established prior to the baby play to allow the baby to stop or suspend play for emergency reasons.) Sometimes an AB will make lengthy confessions of guilt for "baby" actions during their regression through adolescence, childhood and through babyhood. Accept their confessions and tell them that their "crimes" are okay. In most cases, your adult baby is incapable of making lengthy confessions while enacting the role of an infant. You as the parent of your baby will not only be making all the decisions, but also be doing all the work. Indeed, the question of which partner is really in charge always intrudes on these scenarios. Although the baby ends up well-cared for, the baby assumes the role of the prince or princess of the nursery; whose demands of immature regal authority should be delivered forthwith that food, attention, care, and fussing be addressed from his devoted, affectionate parent.
AB Fantasy Costuming
An AB wants to be clothed in the dress of his imagined period of his regression. In nearly all cases, this requires diapers and baby pants. Your adult baby has exactly the same clothing needs for baby wear that a chronological infant needs. First and foremost, he should have diapers. No baby is well-dressed without them. Large-sized disposable and cloth diapers for incontinent adults are available from DPF, including rubber or plastic pants, and adult-size baby clothing. (For other sites selling both cloth and disposable diapers and plastic pants, please visit the Diaper Links page located at: http://www.bedwettingabdl.com/Diaper_links.html) For the Mommy of a young infant, a snap-open nursing bra is an open invitation to breast feeding. Mommy’s and Daddies should avoid exotic costumes, heavy perfume or colognes, long nails, or heavy makeup. A Mommy or Daddy should exude a powerful sense of warm, clean protectiveness. Remember that a baby doesn’t want an exotic paramour, but needs the loving presence of a strong, protective parent!
Furnishing the Fantasy - Props and Sets
Preferably, baby should have his or her own nursery apart from the master bedroom where he or she sleeps when in adult mode. If possible, it should be a room that adjoins or is next to the master bedroom just like any other nursery. The nursery should be decorated (Please visit http://www.littleab.com/ABcare/ABnursery.html for Mama Jenn’s article on decorating nurseries in the AB Resource section) in colors appropriate to the assumed sex of the baby. Stuffed animals are a must for any child with an assumed age under six. If baby is young enough, pacifiers, teething rings, rattles and other baby toys appropriate to the assumed age of the baby should be supplied. Daddy or Mommy should have books like Winnie-the-Poo or Mother Goose to read to his or her baby. If possible, a cassette tape or CD player should be provided for playing lullabies before and during baby’s naptime. The player can also be used for hypnotic tapes or CDs. Baby’s nursery will also provide a storage area for baby wipes, scented nursery Vaseline, baby powder, baby lotion, diaper rash ointment, a rectal thermometer, plastic panties, baby clothes and of course, stacks of clean diapers. Don’t forget a toddler-sized wooden chair for time-outs in the corner!
The single most important quality a parent must have for their AB is genuine love and affection. Other skills, such as baby massage, diapering, washing and caring for diapers and baby pants can be easily acquired. (See Mama Jenn’s AB Resource page for cloth diapering care and plastic pants care) The most difficult skill is that of parental patience. It is far too easy for a parent to become exasperated with their adult baby and spank him or her out of frustration. Good parents plan ahead and try to think of the mischief that their "little" one might get into before baby thinks of it. Simple, understandable rules with logical consequences are the key to influencing your baby to behave correctly. If a baby regresses beyond his or her assumed age, then a smart parent merely changes the way that he or she treats her baby. For example, if a Mommy should have a baby with the assumed age of a four-year-old, but the superannuated preschooler constantly wets his bed, then it is reasonable to put him in diapers and plastic pants at night. If he demands to stay up longer because he is a "big boy" then match his nite-nite time to his behavior, i.e., 8:00 PM if he’s in diapers, 8:30 PM if he’s in training pants and 9:30 if he wears "big boy" underwear. The more infantile he acts, the younger he will be treated. This isn’t punishment, but an appropriate response to the baby’s message. Your baby has the option of acting as mature or immature as he or she wants. If the baby’s behavior is extremely regressive, he or she is telling the parent that it’s time to treat them like a younger baby. If at all possible, stay away from punishments and set down simple rules that have logical consequences. In this way, your baby will control what he or she wants or needs by his or her behavior. Even though the parent will reduce the baby’s sense of guilt by mandating a known response to certain infantile behaviors, it is really the baby who is in control.
Diapers are the single garment which defines the role of a baby. Diaper changes also provide the necessary pleasurable physiological stimulus that an AB craves. The ritual of cleansing, rubbing with lotion, powdering, and diapering is essential to answering an AB’s basic needs. It is not uncommon for an AB to achieve orgasm merely through the parent’s act of changing his or her diaper, even in a male who may be completely impotent. Diaper changes are a time for play and bonding with the baby’s parent. If baby has a changing table, hang a mobile over the baby’s head (out of reach) for him or her to watch during the diaper change. Caregivers should coo lovingly and talk baby talk to their charges during a diaper change. Baby massages during this time are also welcomed by your baby. If the caregiver has a good voice and likes to sing, then this is an excellent opportunity to croon baby songs to your baby. If the caregiver can’t sing, then the nursery should be equipped with a cassette tape or CD player to play nursery songs. Like chronological infants, ABs should have their diapers changed on a regular basis. Recommended times are as follows:
Immediately before or after every feeding (if the diapers are wet or soiled)
After a bowel movement or wetting
Before naptime or bedtime
Immediately after your baby wakes up (if the diapers are wet or soiled)
Before going out with your baby
Climate may also affect the need for diaper changes. If the climate is hot, your baby will perspire in his or her diapers. Many adult babies are more allergic to their own perspiration than they are to stale (highly ammoniated) urine. Babies in hot climets should have their diapers changed whenever they are wet, whether from sweat or from pee. Corn startch baby poweder helps a lot in hot climates Babies in cold climes may suffer from perspiration if they are over-clothed. While protection from the elements is necessary, the caregiver should be aware that heavy clothes will require more frequent diaperings.
Disciplining Your Baby
As stated before, a good parent will establish a set of simple understandable rules with logical consequences for breaking them. A slap on the hand or swat on the baby’s diapered bottom will suffice in most cases where immediate discipline is required for baby’s safety. Although Mama Jenn is opposed to spanking, she understands that there are some babies who feel the need to be disciplined by a real spanking. Mama Jenn provides the following guidelines for full spankings without personal endorsement. If the baby has merely touched or attempted to be naughty in front of the caregiver, then a slap on the top of his or her hand(s) is reasonable. Under no circumstances should a caregiver ever slap a baby’s face! If the baby has engaged in ordinary naughtiness, then a brief, but intense session of four to five spanks on the baby’s diapered bottom should suffice. This can be done with a standing baby or if the caregiver wishes, the short spanking can be delivered over his or her lap. If the baby’s behavior has exceeded all reasonable bounds and the baby has previously indicated that he or she likes to be spanked, then the parent should give the baby a full spanking according to the baby’s wishes.
If the baby has a dirty diaper, leave it on while you spank your baby. A diaper change immediately before the spanking sends a mixed message to the baby. If the baby has a wet diaper, it is up to the parent whether to spank the baby through the diaper (recommended) or have the baby drop his diaper for a lap spanking. The decision should be made on the basis of the assumed age of the baby. Toddlers and older babies can drop their dipees while younger babies must keep them on. Parents should also consider the possibility that the baby might wet in their lap in a moment of panic. If baby wets on the parent’s unprotected lap, the parent is at fault, not the baby! Bare-bottomed spanking is the classic method for older children and babies who have some bladder control.
Several guidelines apply to full spankings:
A full spanking should start with a slow, measured beat on the buttocks and gradually build in intensity and force. The end of the spanking should be well defined, i.e., depending on the need of the baby, the spanking should be terminated upon reaching a certain number of swats or when the baby starts blubbering in pain and humiliation. A spanking should not bruise or otherwise cause physical damage. Palm spankings are best. If a tool for spanking must be used, use a hairbrush. Belts, extension cords or other coiling devices which whip around the body should NEVER be employed! Spankings of babies should be done with a diaper in place. Only older children should be spanked bare-bottomed. Wetting of the baby’s diaper should be expected during a full spanking. Lap spankings are more effective than "stand-up" spankings. The parent should select a straight-backed wooden chair that is capable of holding both the baby’s and the parent’s weight. The baby’s head should be down and be close to the floor to insure that his or her legs are rendered helpless during the spanking. Because of the low position of the head, a spanking, should NEVER exceed fifteen minutes or the baby’s health will be endangered. The non-spanking hand should hold and secure the baby to the caregiver’s lap. If the baby gives the "safe" word, the spanking should terminate immediately. DON’T drop the baby to the floor when the spanking is finished. Help baby to his or her feet at the end of the spanking. Love and cuddle your baby for at least fifteen minutes after a full spanking.
Eventually, every baby will be subject to a time out. A low wooden toddler chair in a corner will help drive home the point that the parent is dissatisfied with baby’s behavior. Time outs in a baby cot or crib are also useful. A good method of setting the limit is to place a kitchen timer with a loud ticking sound and alarm directly behind the baby so that he or she can’t see it. The ticking sound will reassure them that their punishment time is passing and tend to make the time stretch for them. When the alarm goes off, they will probably wet themselves in shock. The baby’s wet diapers will give you an opening to scold them a bit more as you lovingly change their diaper. Time outs should never exceed thirty minutes and should average five-to-ten minutes depending on the offense. If the baby’s behavior has been so outrageous that thirty minutes will not suffice, than either a nap (recommended) or spanking should be employed.
Disciplinary naps are often employed by parents whose babies have gotten out of control. It isn’t necessary for the baby to actually sleep, but the parent should enforce "quiet time" on the baby. If baby is fussy and refuses to lie quietly, the parent should use the formula treatment given below. Since the baby is taking a nap, a diaper change and playing of lullabies is in order. If baby has a pacifier, it should be given to the baby as well. It is important for the caregiver to message that even though baby has been extraordinary naughty, that the caregiver still loves his or her baby. The diaper change, tucking into the cot or crib as well as a pacifier or (optional) bottle of formula will reassure the baby that his caregiver still loves him. Don’t forget to put his favorite teddy or stuffed toy in his arms as you kiss his forehead and raise the side of his crib! If the parent is really exasperated, he or she can dissolve fifty to one hundred milligrams of Benadryl® in a baby bottle with formula and demand that the adult baby finish the bottle before taking his mandated nap. The antihistamine will put baby out like a light within thirty minutes and allow his or her parent time to regain their composure. (Teens NEVER EVER take medication or dose yourself unless your real parents give it to you. Sorry, but medications and such like the above are ONLY for adult babies. Sorry.)
Some adult baby fantasies include enemas. The baby needs to decide at the outset whether enemas are to be used as punishment or as a regular health measure. For parents, enemas and laxatives should only be used with babies who have a history of constipation. If the parent decides that he or she will have to administer enemas on a regular basis, it would be wise to equip baby’s nursery with an adult potty chair. Because these chairs are strictly utilitarian, they should be appropriately decorated to fit within the nursery’s motif. Potty chairs for adults are available through medical supply houses and large mail-order companies like Sears and Pennies. Strangely concocted enemas are unsafe, so stick to standard enemas like the Fleet Enema sold at most grocery stores. Use glycerin suppository laxatives or liquid Ducolax® instead of painful, lower-bowel irritating, laxatives based on the Senna root. (Again, Teens NEVER EVER do a enema on yourself or have someone else do it on you unless it's your real parents doing it. Sorry, but enema's and such like the above are ONLY for adult babies. They can be dangerous and harmful if done exactly right. It's not worth the risk. Sorry.)
Answering an Adult Baby’s Needs
Fortunately, the needs of an Adult Baby are rather easily understood. Unlike other males of his age, he doesn’t need to prove his manhood, nor does he wish to prove his masculinity against an arbitrary standard. All a male AB wants is to forget his adult life and return to the simplicity of babyhood. Like any baby, he thrives on the attention of his caregiver. He wants to be cuddled and cared for like any other baby. Of course, that means he will need his diapers changed at regular intervals, to be fed, comforted and cuddled and played with as well as be allowed to nap. In return, your baby will be absolutely loyal to you.
The Basic AB Fantasy Action Step List
An adult baby is unlikely to challenge the authority of his caregiver, although he may be subject to occasional tantrums. It is imperative that the parent set up the baby game so that both parent and baby are satisfied from the beginning. The following activities and scenes are highly recommended:
1) Diapering him or her
2) Dressing him or her in baby clothes
4) Allowing your baby to suck on a pacifier
5) Allowing your baby to cuddle a stuffed toy like a Teddy Bear
6) Allowing your baby to cuddle his or her head in your lap
7) Allowing your baby to snuggle with a baby blanket
8) Bottle feeding your baby
9) Spoon feeding baby food to your baby (For Mommies) Nursing him
at your breast
10) Allowing your baby to play with infant toys
11) Playing peekaboo with your baby as well as other baby games
12) Telling your baby bedtime stories
13) Singing lullabies to your baby
14) Tucking your baby in his cot, crib or bed each time he or she needs
to go beddie-bye for a nap or go nite-nite.
Copyright (c) 2000 by Jennifer Loraine
All rights reserved by the author.
Commercial use is expressly forbidden.
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