ASK MOMMY ANSWERS ARCHIVE                     PAGE 11
Question Asked By: Embarrassed
Age: 33

Q:

Hello mommy it's me again.  I'm a little boy who wets and sometimes messes at night (knowingly). Since you deal with so many babies I put this on every letter to let you know who I am, and my situation.  Being an AB/DL is tough for younger individuals.  I know because I was one of them a ways back.  Being in my 30's I  understand the urge.  I just wish society wouldn't view us as perverted.  Some of us may be a little more extreme than others, and personally I wouldn't condone some things, but I can't throw stones because of my diapers.  I write to you often to help me understand the why's of my own infantilism feelings. I hate when people, who don't have the urges, say it's an addiction or something.  They don't understand it until they walked a mile in our shoes.Even though nobody understands it, I believe it is a deep rooted desire. It aroused me even as a child around the age of 5 or 7.  It couldn't be a sexual attraction since I wasn't old enough to understand it. It's my belief that my parents toilet trained me too early.  Allot of it make sense, because after toilet training my other siblings they probably wanted to get me trained quickly since I'm the youngest. Diapers to a child is a sign of love.  A child being diapered is special moment between mother and child.  Touch is important for child development, and diapering involves allot of soothing feelings as does soiling oneself.  Parents shouldn't force toilet training, and if a child wants to continue wearing diapers after a certain age it shouldn't be discouraged.  Each child develops at their own rate, and may take longer for one child to give up his/her diapers.  For us AB/DL's it may be too late since we were deprived of those feelings. Is it right? I can't tell you because I'm not God.  Is it an addiction?  I can't tell you that either?  But I can tell you it's not like alcoholism. Touch is still a form of pleasure even for adults.  It's a little harder for us to let that go than alcohol.  Maybe I'm being naive, but I believe it can't be classified as an addiction.  Sure if we wear diapers most of our adult life we might be ready to become big girls and boys. However, since it may be we wear them every once in while, when the pressure of life becomes to hard for us to handle, we may never get out of diapers. I even find the fantasy of the embarrassment of diapers exciting.  Something about someone else knowing you can't control yourself, and being in embarrassing positions. However this may have been added on top the diaper want. Diapers are a curse sometimes.  It makes it hard on relationships?  For me I can't seem to even get a girlfriend, because I'm too shy of a person.  Even though I'm not a bad looking guy, I think that may have something to do with my diaper persona.  I just thought I would share this with all the people who write to you.  Maybe give them insight to what's going on inside their own heads.  I'm not a psychologist, but I giving you my thoughts.  Mommy I just see so many people ask you if it's an OK and I thought maybe this could shed some light on it.  No one knows for sure how we became this way, and I still struggle with my own feelings today.  I plan to find a psychologist that may be able to help me understand my feelings better.  What do you think mommy? 


A:

Dear Embarrassed,

First off it is good to hear from you again. I am glad that you have put your thoughts down- it just might help another member.

In my experience I have found that there is nothing wrong with being AB or DL.  Who are you hurting? No one.  Society as a whole can be harsh in judging what it doesn't understand. I have found that most AB/DL's are just looking for serenity.  Whether it is trying to relive a time in your life when you were loved or just de-stressing from a tough environment by giving control to someone else- if it works- go for it!  I too am not a psychologist but most of the AB/DL's that I meet that get to live their fantasy are well adjusted people.  Just an observation. Life is hard enough- if you can find something to make it easier- why not do it. I do hope that one day it will be accepted like how someone is a vegetarian " Oh Joe, he's a DL.  Nice guy." Well I can dream can't I?

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Chuck
Age: 23

Q:

Hello,

I've loved diapers all my life,  The diapers was a comfort zone its what my mother said to me....I never use the diapers as a baby would....I thought they were just comfortable to wear at home and
out in public.. I think the desire to wear diapers is because I was
never potty trained till 5.  Im an Independent person my mother does
everything for me.  I've suffered years of depression and found that diapers cures it.  I've been in relationships but they never last.  I used to wear diapers a year back.  Id buy the biggest super mega diapers and never hide them.  Id buy not one but all kinds of different brands of size 6 diapers, including the baby powder.  I wasn't afraid to hide them, I wanted my parents to accept the fact of having diapers in my bedroom.  My mother found my collection 3 years ago and let it go kept it a secret I did see therapy and doctors while keeping this on the DL my father, brother, and sister don't know about this..........A Year ago I was out of a job and in the need for diapers.....My mother thought I stopped wearing them until I walked into the kitchen in just my shirt and diaper....I wanted her  to get used to seeing me in a diaper.  I wanted my mother to buy me a pack of diapers and she said no......The whole obsession about the diapers leads back to the early 1990s where I've been around the pampers for Boys/Girls.....and recently found them on Ebay.........I haven't worn a diapers in a year....I've been to doctors and therapists.....the urge for wearing diapers is slowly leaving but it seems like im on Ebay everyday searching for these vintage diapers.....what could be wrong with me...?  I want to forget this ever happened I want this fetish to leave my head.....Please Help! Thank You


A:

Dear Chuck,

If you truly wish to get rid of your fetish- it won't be easy.  You have spent your entire life wearing and enjoying diapers.  Your entire psyche is geared toward wearing them.  You will need to wean yourself off of them.  Going farther and farther between times when you wear.  It might help to distract yourself with a hobby or other activity when the urge to seek out diapers occurs.  If you really want to stop you are going to have to not go to Ebay and look at the sites- they only encourage you to wear. On a personal note, if you have worn all your life and are comfortable with them why stop now?  There are many people who live regular lives and wear.  There are many on-line stores that sell the old classic style diaper, ultra thin pull ups and everything in-between.  Like the old saying goes "If it ain't broke don't fix it!".  In other words if it works for you why mess with it.  I wish you luck with your quest.  Whatever you decide to do just be happy!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: TJ
Age: 33

Q:

Mommy, I got a question. I have heard of people that are 24/7
lifestyle adult babies. How do those kind of relation ships work out? Are they for real? I mean, I have a hard time seeing any man or women dealing with a person who acts like a baby 24/7. I wouldn't mind trying it myself, but come on, isn't t his just the desperate fantasies of someone who WISHES it was true? Please sing me Confused But Intrigues


A:

Dear TJ,

For all the people who are AB/DL- there are as many levels of interest they want to do.  You can have the weekend type who will wear only at home on the occasional weekend.  Some will wear all the time except when at work.  Then you have the die-hard's who wear 24/7.

Yes they do exist.  Usually they have a job that is not closely supervised and can wear with no fear of getting caught- for instance a truck driver.  Some work out of home like an independent contractor/consultant and is alone while at work. Some stay at home and the other partner in the relationship works. There are many different scenarios but you get the point.  As to how they do it?  It is
only under unique circumstances that you can do that. And it is difficult to find a partner who would be willing to participate. A dear friend of ours his wife won't participate but she puts up with it- just not in their house.  He has children so he can only be AB/DL over at someone else's house.  It is not the best but at least he gets some AB time.  The bottom line is what do you want?  What are you willing to do to live AB 24/7? Do you even want to live AB 24/7?  It's not for everyone.  When you have answered these questions then you can put a plan into action if that is what you really want to do.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Embarrassed
Age: 33

Q:

Hi mommy! First I have to thank you for all your advice thus far. It has been very helpful in some instances. This little boy is all ready for bedtime. I am wearing a nice clean disposable diaper, and T-shirt.  Before I fall fast asleep I wanted to ask you a question on diapering myself. I usually diaper myself on my bed. First I undress myself so I'm naked.  Secondly I open the diaper up, and sprinkle baby powder on it. I next apply Vaseline to my entire diaper area.  OK here's part of the question.  At this point after cleaning the Vaseline off my hands I sit my butt on the back of the diaper, and lay down.  Now I position my legs spread eagle bent with knees up.  Then I pull the front of the diaper over my pee pee, and up to my belly button. I tape it on keeping my legs spread eagle. Should I keep my legs in a spread eagle position?  How tight should I tape the legs?  I'm always worried if I end up pooping or peeing it may leak on my bedding. Do you see anything wrong with my diapering technique that can be better? Well time to sleep.  I have a feeling I won't be dry in the morning.:) Here's to another wet night! Thanks again!  


A:

Dear Embarrassed,

I am starting to feel like we are old friends!  :)  I am so happy I have been of some help to you so far. From what you have described there is nothing wrong with your technique that I can see. If leaking is a
really big problem perhaps you might want to invest in some plastic pants with the elastic in the legs. As far as the diapering process goes just pull as tight as you are comfortable with.  You are powdering and
putting on some Vaseline as a skin lubricant/barrier. All excellent choices.  I hope to hear from you again (hint hint) Happy diapering!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Marc
Age: 17

Q:

Why I'm marc and I start wetting the bed 3 weeks ago and now my
dads found out 3 days ago and me and him said if I wet the bed again
last night I would wear some protection we all ready have waterproof
sheets no good but I think nappy's are for babes plus if my friends see me wearing a nappy what will I do then any ideas send my some ideas on my email address marcbesley@yahoo.co.UK thanks


A:

Dear Marc,

You didn't say if this had ever happened before.  It could be a one time thing where you just drank too much that evening .  If it continues to happen then you might want to consider having a doctor take a look
at you to make sure there isn't  any serious problems. Other than that try to drink less, stop drinking after 6 PM (that helped with my son) and make sure you use the toilet before bed.  I hope some of this helps.
Write me again if you need tips on hiding the fact that you are wearing nappies.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Embarrassed
Age: 33

Q:

Good morning mommy. It was a comfortable enough night to sleep in just my diaper last night. Earlier this morning I had couple of wetting accidents, which I can tell from the smell, and look of my diaper. It looks like this little boy is also heading for a third one before his shower.  This brings me to my question.  Sometimes at night I'm pretty tired and it's still too early for bed (around 8:00PM). If I fall asleep while watching T.V I won't have my diaper on. If it put the diaper on that early and have an accident before I fall asleep should I'll be wet before I fall asleep. Is it ok to fall asleep in the wet diaper knowing more accidents are to come? How do you determine when to change your diaper?  I usually change myself first thing in the morning.  In the morning it's easy to tell. Like the one I have on now is sagging a little bit, and feels a little wet. What's a good test to determine if you need changed? Also what about pooping accidents?  Got so many questions still.  I need being a baby 101 course. :) Well I'll wait for another time to ask those questions. Well time get changed. Luv baby.   


A:

Dear Embarrassed.

It is good to hear from you again. Everyone has their own definition as to when to change.  Some like to sit in a damp one for a while and others like that saggy feeling you were taking about.And still others need to change immediately as soon as they wet. Whatever you feel most comfortable with is fine. A happy middle of the road is you can stay in a wet diaper for a little while (an hour or so) without risking getting a rash.

You should change before going to bed but if you fall asleep then just change when you wake up. Staying is a soggy diaper for a little while never killed anyone. Overnight is the longest length of time you usually stay in a diaper.  Always make sure you put on some form of wetness protection (Vaseline, A & D, Balmex, Desitin) to keep that nasty diaper rash away. These suggestions also apply to poop.  Again change as soon as you can.  All of these (urine and poop) are waste products to your body after all.  Above all else though just stay happy and take care of that 'bottom' of yours!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Embarrassed
Age: 33

Q:

Hi mommy. I thought I would share this forum with you since it may help explain why we as adults like diapers.  This is not an AB/DL infantilism forum, but a discussion among mothers. One mother relays a doctors explanation, which explains allot.  Here's the forum, read it all the way through. http://www.momcentral.com/chat/forum.asp?id=16170. This makes me believe that my experiment of wearing diapers to bed regardless if I want to or not may be the correct action. Right now I'm still using my diapers at night. It also supports my theory that maybe we were all potty trained too soon. I think once you hit adulthood the theory discussed in the forum becomes more complicated.  Any way thought I  would share this since it may help explain some things for others.  Better get ready for bed. I will keep you updated on my progress, and I'll bet I'll still have allot of questions since I'll be in diapers for some time now.


A:

Dear Embarrassed,

I do believe that for some people what that link talks about does apply.  Kids are made to grow up so quickly in today's world. In my mother's day Mom stayed home and the child could take as long as he wanted before being potty trained.  Today both Mom and Dad work and
to get a kid into day care they need to be potty trained- so the pressure is on.  We all need to have that feeling of security and being loved by mommy. Being AB is one way to achieve that.  Thank you for
that link maybe it can help someone.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Brian Johnson
Age: 21

Q:

Dear Mommy I am 21 year Old, Love detailed situations. But first don't have the money or house to live out my dreams. I have always wanted a AB Mommy to force me back to diapers and treat, me like a real baby. From the breast feeding to diapers, to making me dress like a little girl. Also the toilet training and diapers. I mean everything. I have look for detailed stories but have not found anything to help my situation. So is there any way you can help me do by giving me situation to do to help me.


A:

Dear Brian,

It does sound like you need an AB mommy to help you with that.  I don't know of any AB moms personally who don't already have a AB.  My suggestion to you is to go to our links page for Mommies and see if you can find one.  Since yo are only looking for situations you could possibly find a mommy who is willing to do phone sessions with you. You only need to look.  I wish you luck!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Tim
Age: 14

Q:

Which stroller is the biggest for TB on the market?


A:

Dear Tim,

If you are slim enough you could get away with regular strollers that are in the stores. But most likely you would either need to redesign a wheelchair or go to an AB equipment site and order one there. You will have to do some searching and it won't be cheap but if you keep the faith you will eventually find one.  I wish you luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: PHIL
Age: 54

Q:

Dear Mommy, I have been told that becoming a permanent bedwetter is close to impossible if not wearing a diaper full time day and night. What do you think? I have been wearing a diaper at night for the past 21/2 years and have had "real" accidents only a few times, i.e.. not waking up. Any suggestion for an improvement? Also, you mention that you know of people having reached total incontinence who wanted to gain continence and could not do it. Is that common? Thank you for your kind help and congratulations on your great forum.

Phil


A:

Dear Phil,

Thank you for your kind words about the site.  We appreciate it.  You do seem to be on the right track. Wearing a diaper and using it when you have the urge will tell your body that it is okay to relax and let things 'flow'.  With this technique your ability to regain control is not lost.  There have been some people that I have known that have used other invasive methods to achieve incontinence only to regret it later.  If you impart any physical changes or damage any part of your urinary system it most likely will result in a permanent condition.So I always recommend a low impact type of training.  The bladder is a muscle and can be exercised.  I wish you luck in your quest just make sure you do it in a safe manner.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Jerry Scott
Age: 38

Q:

I like wetting my bed and I use diaper. My question to you is why can I find a mommy that like this  as I do


A:

Dear Jerry,

It is not an easy task to find a mommy.  It can be done it will most likely take some time and work on your part.  Our site has a mommy finder section - it's a good place to start. If any mommy you contact can't take you ask her for any referrals to others.  There is also the alternative to getting an on-line mommy or phone mommy.  Bottom line- they are out there you just have to do some work and be persistent.  Good luck in your quest.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Ricky
Age: 17

Q:

Hi I stopped bedwetting but I want to start again any suggestions on how to make my self pee again while I am sleeping?


A:

Dear Ricky,

I never recommend any method to start wetting again that will cause you bodily harm or permanent damage. So my suggestion is this- drink as much as you can before going to bed.  Don't use the toilet before bed. Now at first you will wake up when your body feels
the need to go.  If you don't get up and just use the diaper- your body will eventually get the idea to just go and not wake you up.  I caution you though make sure this is something you really want.  It is difficult to regain control once lost.  To have total control can be priceless at times.  Think ahead- do you want your future to be late night runs to the store to get diapers for your baby ---and you.  With that being said- think carefully and good luck.
-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Tiekey
Age: 36

Q:

I always dreamed of haveing somone adopt me and take me away or even kidnap me, and trun me into their baby 24/7. I had a dream were a couple took me into their home and made me their baby, and I was afraid because everyone would miss me that new me I look into the Mirror and I was a Kid I accepted it the Lady, called me into the room and took me by the hand and told me that she love me if she did not love me she would not have truned me into her baby, i accepted this explanation, and was Happy. Do you think this will every really happen to me, and somone will take and trun me into thier baby and I will be happy?

PS
I am both a adult baby and love wearing diapers and being a little Girl
new born to two. no older


A:

Dear Tiekey,

There are many mommies the only problem is to connect with one.  We do have a mommies link page :
http://www.bedwettingabdl.com/Mommys.html  

You can start your search here.  I don't know if you will find a full time mommy.  You will need to talk to some of the moms and the one you connect with could be the one. Just keep trying and maybe one day your dream will come true. Good luck.
-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Jerry Scott
Age: 44

Q:

Why is it hard for other people to accept there are adult baby out here in the world today?


A:

Dear Jerry,

I wish I knew the answer to that one.  I know that some people are afraid of what they don't understand. Which says to me- do some info digging and find out about it just don't dismiss it.  Sadly there will
always be one part of society that won't accept another part.  Why everyone can't be more accepting is beyond me.  How much nicer would life be if yu could just be yourself?  Well at least you know you are accepted here for who you are.  And by the way to me you are perfect!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Unkown
Age: mid 20's

Q:

I have 3 questions
1. what is the best type of matresscover to buy to protec the bed when you wet

2.what would be a sutable punishment for wetting the bed and your pants and our boxers?

3.if you don't use protection at night which is better to wet the bed in
breifs or boxers?


A:

Dear Unknown,

Whether a person needs to be punished for wetting is a personal choice.  Some say you should be scolded and others say it's okay.  As to what level of punishment is again a personal choice.  Perhaps you feel the need to be sent to bed without dinner and others say a few
swats with a brush is suitable.  Only you know what you are comfortable with or even if you think punishing is an option for you.  As to what is better to wet in is again a personal choice- boxers would dry quicker so if you are liking the wet feel, wet the briefs that material takes a little longer to dry.  There are many excellent mattress protection companies out there but the company we like is
http://www.protect-a-bed.com/home.asp?PARTNER=BedWettingABDL
I hope this information can help you make some decisions.  Good luck to you.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Embarassed
Age: 33

Q:

Dear Mommy,
I have a new question about wearing disposable diapers. My diaper usage is that of a 2-3 year old at night only. I'm not sure where I heard this, but it seems that vasaline may not be best to use to prevent diaper rash.  I usually apply vasaline to my entire diaper area, but have heard that it will get on the absorbent material, and may create a water proof barrier preventing maximum absorbency.  My diapers are soggy some times, which may mean it may not be protecting my sensitive areas.  Is this true and if so what should I use?    


A:

Dear Embarrassed,

That can sometimes occur with Vaseline. I always recommend Balmes or Desitin.  These work very well as barriers but are also effective in helping to heal other ailments.  A friend of mine had a chaffed area on his thigh from his shorts rubbing- sure enough with
just one application the area felt better and within 2-3 days was completely healed.  Vaseline can be used at diaper change but in moderation. I hope this answered your question. Nice to hear form you again.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Jim
Age: 41

Q:

Can you tell me where I can find the thickest cloth diapers at
reasonable prices? I'm looking for somewhere around $20 (or less) a
diaper. I only ask because, unfortunately, my income isn't near what it
should and I can't afford to spend a lot on my diapers.


A:

Dear Jim,

Trust me you are not alone in the income department. Even with getting diapers for my twins it was ridiculous the prices they wanted! We have a few wonderful affiliates one of which is  Diaper Connection they have diapers as cheap as $15 US. Their link is
https://secure3.nexternal.com/shared/Store
Front/default.asp?CS=dc&BusType=BtoC&
Count1=555965602&Count2=473106026

Check them out.  Hope this helps.
-Hugs Sandra
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