ASK A MOM ARCHIVE
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Question Asked By: Smokey
Age: 21

Q:

Everything was going great with me, but then some pervert found me, and started talking to me online about my nighttime problem. I felt used and disgusted, and to be honest my nightmares are more intense and I've started wetting more. However I can't bring myself to wear diapers. The thing is the perv that solicited me was constantly asking me about my diapers, and trying to get me to talk about his diapers. To be honest, just the thought of diapers freaks me out. Any alternate advice you have that doesn't require diapers  would be helpful.


A:

Dear Smokey,

Unfortunately there are many sick people in this world.  I am so sorry you had to encounter one.  There are options other than to wear diapers. Besides trying to manage your wetting with the ususal techniques: limiting fluids, no caffeine before bed, frequent bathroom trips and so on.  The other option is medication. Meds have gotten a bad reputation for side effects.  And that is mainly because those meds are intended for other purposes.  For example the doctor
gives you a Rx for a drug that is primarily used to treat depression with the side effect of stopping wetting.  Great for the no more wetting but what about the depression part?  Do you need your brain chemistry altered? No. What you need is drugs that works on wetting and only wetting- those are the meds you ask your doctor for.  I am currently on that type of drug and have had no side effects. The medication works so well that I don't need to wear diapers at all.  Ask
your doctor and he can suggest some. It is worth some investigation. Good luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Alexa
Age: 19

Q:

Dear Mom,

I have been wetting the bed due to stress for the past 3 months. But recently I have been waking up only to find that my diapers have leaked. Primarily on the right side. However, my diapers are hardly wet. I make sure that I am diapered snuggly, but my efforts have no success. Is there something I'm doing wrong. Also, I am a tummy
sleeper...does that have anything to do with the leaking? Thanks


A:

Dear Alexa,

It is hard to determine why exactly you are leaking. You said that you are putting on your diaper real snug.  My suggestion is this perhaps you should try using diaper stuffer- more on the side you usually leak from.  And secondly maybe the use of a plastic pants might help contain the liquid and of course the third suggestion- maybe you need to change diapers and find a more absorbant one.  Try any or all of these and see what happens.  Hopefully you'll have a dry and stress-free night.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Paul
Age: 16

Q:

I poo my pants in my Aunt's car and she what me to tell my
mom.


A:

Dear Paul,

If you are having accidents like that you should mention it to your mother and have her take you to see a doctor. It is better to make sure there are no medical problems and just deal with the pooping. If it is just a pooping accident, that can be caused by something you ate or a stomach bug.  I hope it all ends well for you.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Anonymous
Age: 27
Q:

My question is when I am wearing a diaper, is it better to wear boxers, boxer briefs or plain briefs over them when other people are home. And also I am in a pretty serious relationship. How do I go about telling my fiance about me wearing diapers?


A:

Dear Anon,

I guess as far as the choice of underwear would be whichever one you like.  I would go with one of the boxer styles a little more for the leg coverage.  As for your fiance, it would be a shame to start a
marriage with a secret.  You know her.  You know how best to bring up the subject.  But be honest.  Tell her you love her and wanted to start your marriage with no secrets or deceptions.  Hope all goes well.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Derek
Age: 15

Q:

How do I tell my mom I want to wear diapers and be treated like a
baby again...


Q:

Dear Derek,

Only you know what's in your mother's mind.  Do you really feel she would go along with diapers?  If you don't then there is nothing you could say that would change her mind.  There are no magic words. It would be nice but maybe it might be better to wait until you
are older.  I wish you luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Jesse
Age: 34

Q:

How can I make a self diaper for my child? She's 12. I also discipline my child when she wets the bed. Is this a good thing? Taking away underwear helps for discipline.


A:

Dear Jesse,

I am not quite sure what you are referring to when you say a 'self diaper'.  Maybe you could write again and make clear exactly what you are referring to. My son was a bedwetter and was never disciplined.  How can you punish someone for a biological act they have no control over? He had a weak bladder and could no more control it than he could stop his heart from beating.  To take underwear from a child that wets is silly.  You have a child with a rash lets not put lotion on it and wrap it with gauze lets expose it to
more poison ivy and let the kid scratch at it more! All children that bedwet should see a doctor and not be punished but be understood by their families as having a problem that hopefully is only a temporary one.  Be kind to the ones you love.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: BRENT
Age: 36

Q:

THIS IS BRENT AGAIN WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON
"INTERSTIM THERAPY"? DOES IT WORK? IS IT PAINFUL? I'M NOT SURE IF I  WANT TO HAVE THAT PROCEDURE DONE. I'M REALLY NERVIOUS ABOUT THE IDEA. ANY THOUGHTS WOULD BE
APPRECIATED.


A:

Dear Brent,

I am sorry to hear you have so much anxiety. Unfortunately I can't answer your question. I can't find any reference for it in my medical data.  Could you Email me directly with a little more info and I could tell you more. Stay brave till then.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Brent
Age: 36

Q:

Hello this is Brent again.What are your thoughts on Interstim
Therapy? I was told it a device that looks like pace maker that is implanted under the skin by your tailbone with wires going to the bladder. It doesn't sound that great to me. Do people really benefit from this? Any thoughts would be appreciated.


A:

Dear Brent,

Thank you very much for that additional info.  Now I can answer your question. InterStim therapy is mainly used for the treatment of urinary retention or an overactive bladder.  A small device is implanted under your skin and sends mild electric pulses to the nerves in your lower back.  These nerves in part control your bladder and the surrounding muscles.  The electrical stimulation may eliminate or reduce certain bladder control symptoms in some people.  The surgery takes a few hours and is only a few small incisions. Should you have the surgery? That is your call.  It is not a
guarantee fix. It is surgery. But on the other hand maybe it is worth it to you to not have to deal with wetting.  For me- underwear, diapers- it's one or the other, so who cares which. So think about it.  But remember there are some of us out here who think you're great just as you are!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Mark
Age: 11

Q:

Is it normal to start wetting the bed at age 11? I am 11 and I just started to wet. Is this normal? I just wanted to make sure. Nobody in my family wets and nobody knows I wet.


A:

Dear Mark,

There are many different reasons why you could be wetting the bed.  Some could be serious, like if you had an illness or some could be nothing more than you are under too much stress. If you continue to wet for any length of time I would suggest you say something to your mother and ask her to take you to the doctor. I will say this though- my son was about your age when he started to wet the bed.  His doctor said that he had a growth spurt in his body but his bladder didn't keep up.  He called it an 'immature bladder'.  My son did outgrow it.  Did you just have a growth spurt? See how it goes.  Like I said if it continues consider talking to your parents.  I wish you luck. Oh and by the way- yes you are normal!

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Polekat
Age: 48

Q:

I was a bedwetter up until my mid to late teens. In the last six months or so I have started wetting my bed again due to memories of childhood sexual abuse. I have tried not drinking anything after 6PM, tried medication but it sill happens. Any suggestions
welcomed.


A:

Dear Polecat,

As you have found out stress is also a contributing factor in wetting.  You didn't mention if you had seen a doctor.  That would be the next logical step. You need to rule out other health issues such as your prostate and so on.  I am so sorry that your childhood experiences have come back.  It's bad enough you had to live them in the first place. See a doctor and get a clean bill of health from head to toe and see what suggestions he might have for you. Restricting fluid, using the restroom before bed, no caffeineated drinks are all good tactics.  I wish you luck.  Keep us informed.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Danny Love
Age: 17

Q:

I am even more of a baby wearing diapers. My teacher changes me when I'm at school. He had to wipe my bum during class. I find huggies too tight. Any other ones I could try. Please give me confidence in wearing them. I feel weak. Email ASAP! Danny x


A:

Dear Danny,

You didn't mention why it is you are wearing diapers. I am assuming it is due to an illness/injury since the school is involved.  There are many excellent diapers on the market.  You must be very slim since you are still wearing the Huggies, Luvs and Pampers.  You did mention that they were getting a bit snug for you though. We have an excellent database of mail order companies for diapers and other supplies. A few of them offer sample packs which are good  to try out.

-Hugs Sandra

Diaper Link:
http://www.bedwettingabdl.com/Diaper_links.html

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Question Asked By: Hans
Age: 13

Q:

This isn't a question but a comment. You don't have to put it on the page. I think it's great what you girls do. And it really helps build confidence in children who still wet. I am thirteen and have written here before but haven't given my e-mail address for safety reasons (You know how mothers are). Anyway, I just want to say keep up the GREAT work and thank you for helping me with my problem. Also, one think I don't like about this site is that every 30 days you answer
a question. A little earlier ( Maybe 15 days) would be nicer because I am eager to know what you will say. Thank You so much and you make my problem easier to handle!


A:

Dear Hans,

I am so glad that I was able to help you.  I totally understand about the email thing- I am a mom and a bit protective.  Thank you for all your wonderful comments. There is a very simple fix to your 'problem'.  Our 'Ask a' questions are set up as general forum questions and are answered once a month for those who can wait.  If you feel you have a problem that needs a more immediate answer all you have to do is email me directly! My email is :gypsy12143@yahoo.com.  That way you won't have to wait the month to get an answer.  You take care.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Matt
Age: 13

Q:

I was having a sleep over at my friends house yesterday. Four people were there. Me, the host and 2 other people. I have never wet the bed before and for some reason I did there. My friends started laughing. They told me they did something to me. All they said was that it wasn't the hand in water trick. I am sure it was urine because it was the smell and my you know what was also wet. And to prove I wet myself they actually video-taped me peeing. What could they have done to me?? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!


A:

Dear Matt,

Sometimes the things our friends do to us! It was a pretty rotten joke.  But I think it probably was the hand in the water trick. For some reason it usually makes you go.  Now think this out- if it made you go
that would explain the smell and the wetness wouldn't it. And of course they would laugh knowing that you are in the dark about what really happened. They pulled a fast one and got away with it. Don't get all upset about it.  They got ya this time.  But you're okay.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Susan
Age: 34

Q:

My son is 12 years old and has just started to wet. He does not
have a bladder infection, I checked with the doctor. My question is, is this common or uncommon? And does this happen to others, that they start to wet? Also I have not given him any protection to wear when he goes to sleep. When he wakes up wet, what am I supposed to do? Give him a shower? Make him, wash his sheets? What do most people do? Thank You.


A:

Dear Susan,

My son was about the same age when he started to wet. His doctor said his was due to a growth spurt.  His body had one- his bladder didn't. So weak bladder muscle.  How to handle it depends on how severe it is. Bedwetting is more common than people think.

Not every wetter will need to wear protection.  Some can get by with just modifying their drinking habits. The usual practices are to use a mattress protector. If the child wets- depending on how bad either a quick wash/wipe down or a full bath might be needed. The
bedding might need to be changed or just the mattress protector (if used on top of sheet). 

For me and my son if he had a wet night, we would spend the mornings in the basement sitting on the sofa snuggling and talking, waiting on the laundry. In hindsight they were quiet times where it was just me and him. Just never make your son feel bad about his wetting.  I am sure if he could stop he would.  Find your own routine
and make it work for the two of you.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Paul
Age: 12

Q:

Ok, I recently visited my friends house and a few things I saw made me believe he wets the bed. How can I be sure? Are there things wetter's do that helps you identify them? I know it's not my business but, I just want somebody I know to relate to. Thanks!


A:

Dear Paul,

We all look for someone we can relate to.  How can you find out without revealing you're one yourself. Being a wetter you know what you do.  Does this friend do any of the same things? Answer your own question. If he is a good enough friend maybe you could just ask
him about it- yes he would have to be a really good friend for that. It can be a very touchy subject to talk about. Maybe you could bring it up in a conversation saying you heard about someone else wetting and how does he feel about it and see what he says. Or you could just leave it all alone and just be good friends.  It's your choice.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Rich
Age: 13

Q:

How do I tell my parents I wet the bed?


A:

Dear Rich,

Just be honest with them.  I would also ask if they can take you to see a doctor to make sure there is nothing wrong.Because of your age I am thinking you probably just had a growth spurt and your bladder didn't keep up- my son had that.  He grew out of it and is fine today. I wish you luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Hans
Age: 15

Q:

I just started to wet. My mother knows but when I wake up wet what am I supposed to do? Take a shower? Change the sheets? What should I do? what did your children do? Thanks!


A:

Dear Hans,

If you wake up and you're wet try helping your Mom out. What me and my son did was we changed his sheets and put them in the laundry.  He usually either washed up or bathed depending on how wet he was and then he got dressed and continued with his day. He would help me make his bed when the laundry was done. Whether that was when the dryer was done or when he got home from school or practice.  He took responsibility and helped even though he had no control over the situation.  Maybe your Mom would like some help too.  Just a thought.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Mark
Age: 11

Q:

Hi it's me again, no I did not have a growth spurt and I had another question. I told my mom I wet and she was ok with it. She gave me a plastic sheet to wear. Now I want to wear diapers but she won't let me. She says the sheet is good enough. Is there anything I can make
myself to wear under my P.J.'s. No towels please she'll know they're gone. 


A:

Dear Mark,

You would only need maybe 2-3 cloth diapers to get you through, assuming you could wash them every day.  And yes using towels would be an excellent choice.The only other material that comes to mind that might be soft and absorbent would be a T-shirt.  Do you have any old T-shirts? Perhaps you could fold 3 or 4 in a rectangle
and put them in your PJ's.  It is not the best remedy but in the mean time work on your Mom and see if you can convince her to purchase just a few cloth ones for you.  I wish you luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Tim
Age: Unknown

Q:

What would be the right way to handle my wetting during the day out in public?   And how to change in public? I had a woman ask if I wear diapers and I did not know what to say to her.


A:

Dear Tim,

How to handle wetting during the day depends on your level of wetting.  Some people are okay with just frequent bathroom breaks.  Others may need to wear some form of protection ranging from pads to full diapers and still others may need medication.  As to how to change in public again depends on what method of protection you are using.  And if someone is rude enough to ask if you are wearing a diaper just say to them that it is none of their business because it really isn't.  Be proud of who you are and be happy.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Gerhard Geldenhuis
Age: 58

Q:

Is there anything you can do about incontinence?


A:

Dear Gerhard,

How to treat incontinence depends on the root cause of it.  Some forms can be managed with just adjusting your fluid intake.  Others- such as mine- have to take medication.  And still others have no other option but to have to wear incontinence products.  Which can
range from simple pad inserts to full diapers.  Again it depends on the cause for the wetting, the severity of the wetting and also if the wetting is temporary or permanent.  These are all factors you need to discuss with your doctor.  They can better evaluate exactly what your needs are for now and in the future.  I wish you luck.

-Hugs Sandra

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Question Asked By: Ceara
Age: 10

Q:

Is it all right for a ten year old girl to be wearing diapers all her life?


A:

Dear Ceara,

If you are okay with wearing the diapers there is no reason why you shouldn't.  Your answers did confuse me a bit though.  In one section you said you wet and in the other you said you didn't.  If you need to wear them, you need to wear them.  And that's that. So yes
it's okay for you to be wearing diapers.

-Hugs Sandra