A MOMMY'S VIEW ARCHIVE
                   Telling parents you wet the bed...

This is a very difficult subject to deal with. The one factor that determines acceptance or rejection is how open your parents are. Only you can say how open to change your parents are.

If they are not open I suggest finding a family member you trust that is open minded and tell them of your wetting problem. Maybe they can find a better way to tell your parents so they can understand.

The decision to tell your parents has to be one that you have thought over very carefully. There can be several outcomes. Some are:

1) Best outcome is they accept the problem and try to help
   you with the wetting.

2) Worst outcome, they either turn their backs on you or try
    to have you commited to the hospital.

3) There is the middle area, Where they don't really accept it
   but they deal with it. They don't talk about it but they know
   it's happening.

That is just 3 of several outcomes. Each set of parents will react differently than another.

The next logical step is how to tell them once you have decided to do so. Again there are a few options here..

1) You can have a family meeting with either 1 person you
    trust or both your parents. Tell them you have a problem
    and that the diapers, if you are not already using them, are
    needed if you choose to want to wear diapers. At this
    point they might suggest seeing a doctor. This is a
    common course of action. Don't let that scare you. It's
    normal.

2) If you feel uncomfortable talking to the trusted person you
   might try writing a letter expressing all your fears and
   concerns about the bed wetting to the person. This is an
   indirect way of telling them and it is also less
   embarrassing and most of the time easier to do.

3) You might try talking to your doctor first. On your next
   doctor visit ask the doctor if you can speak to him in
   private about your problem. Express your concerns. He
   might even know the reason you are bed wetting. He might
   be able to approach the subject with your parents.

Once you have choosen to tell your parents the next step is to evaluate your bed wetting problem and find out the different things available to manage the bed wetting. Some are:

1) Diapers or Goodnites
2) Water Proof Sheets for the bed.
3) Bed Wetting Alarm
4) Medications

Some other things you can do to reduce the bed wetting is to stop drinking liquids a few hours before bed. Use the bathroom right before you lay down. Don't drink caffeine about 5 hours before bed. Caffeine make the kidneys produce urine. Set your alarm clock if you have one for about 4-5 hours after you go to sleep so you can get up and use the bathroom at night. These are just a few extra things to help the bed wetting. I hope something we have said here helps you. Good luck with your decision to tell your parents and or family.

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             Is real baby formula good for adults to drink?


         Formula is intended for use by infants. The vitamin make up of formula is intended for babies. As you probably know babies are brand new and have no sense of taste, therefore most adults find it revolting.


         It is said that it is an aquired taste. I would say that if you can stand the taste it is technically good for you. I know of some AB's or babies who try to make it taste better by adding to it different things. Some try milk flavoring, chocolate, suger, milk, water, vanilla, and the list goes on. What ever works for you.


         Some AB's have said the best tasting formula is carnation follow up.And if you are lucky enough to have a mommy that breast feed you (which also tastes gross). it is suggested you put some vanilla extract around the nipple for better taste. Happy Feeding :).

Mommy Pam and Sandra

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Hello everyone :


         I once again need to address a very serious matter.  I recently received letters asking me how can some babies make them selves poop.


         This is very disturbing.  I did a discussion about the dangers of making yourself wet and alot of the same dangers apply here.


         You can make yourself go by using laxatives or other medications.  These medicines are meant to relieve constipation and if abused and used too much your body loses the muscle tone in your colon.


         What that means is your muscle become too weak and they will no longer be able to push the poop out.  You will become dependant on these drugs or have to wear a diaper all the time for real.


         Another method is by using enemas.  But they too are dangerous and again your body will become dependant on them.  Another danger here is as you are inserting the tube you could tear or rupture tissue- which could lead to an infection or worse.


   Also AB's should not use formula that has iron in it or AR. That will cause diarrhea and this can cause dehydration that can lead to death.  These types or formula can also cause the reverse reaction and casue severe constipation. These formula's should be avoided.


         Again babies we have to tell you not to engage in this practice.  We want you all to be happy and healthy.  We love you just as you are!


Mama Pam and Sandra

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Hello to everyone.


    This month I would like to talk about moving in with a mommy. I know that some of the AB/DL's like to have mommies they can call on once in a while. But a few of you would prefer something more permanent.


     First, you need to know who you are going to be with. You need to investigate online and ask questions. What are your needs and what is that mommy willing to do. If you poop in your diaper-you need a mommy who is willing to change you. Don't be afraid to ask questions.


     Second-what are the living arrangements? Can you be a baby 24/7 when at home? Or only at certain times -like on the weekend. Establish the money issue. Do you pay for half the bills? Discuss it. Discuss what things you need to pay for while you are there. 


     Third-if everything has been okayed arrange a trial visit. Two weeks or more is good. Bring clothes for the two weeks. Money enough to pay for food and immediate return back home if necessary and any other expenses you may have. I know an AB who went to a mommy's house with no money, no return ticket and he didn't even have diapers! It didn't work and he had to have money wired to him to get home. Some mommy's will let him/her stay till he/she gets the money, but other mommy's may throw him/her out because of one problem or another.  Be prepared. Take the two weeks to get to know your mommy and try out her routine. Every mother has her own way of how things are to be run.


    Make sure you have enough money on you when you
arrive just in case the mommy or daddy you are comming
to live with does not come to get you. Sometimes mommy's or daddy's say you can come but don't mean it or run into problems beyond their control. It is best to have enough money to when you get to where you are going, to be able to pay for a return ticket home or to a back up person you have set up.


    If everything works out okay, then you are truly lucky. There are only a few AB's who can have their own Mom all the time. But if it works out-Great! As always with love to our babies. Talk to you next month.

  -Mommy Pam and Sandra

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                                         DIAPER CONCERNS
                                                       
I hope everyone is doing fine. I have received over the last few weeks a lot of questions concerning diapers.

One of the most comon is how do I hide the fact that I wear diapers. Obviously if you don't need them, you can skip wearing them to places that might be embarrassing. But if you have a genuine need, here are a few tips If you are wearing tailored or close fitting items-a pull up style is less noticeable. If you need a more absorbent style of diaper you may need to wear more loose fitting clothes. Also some of the diapers make noise (because of the plastic) I know an AB that hangs his keys from his belt-they hear keys not the rustling plastic. If you wear rubber pants or plastic pants over your diaper it cuts down the noise of the diaper. But it can cause diaper rash because the skin does not get enough air. If you decide to use the plastic pants, you need to change more often and use balmex to protect your skin from diaper rash. Use a thin layer or balmex.

Another common question is what diaper to use? Alot of that depends on you. How much do you wet-if at all. They have pull ups, plastic disposable and the old tried and true cloth. You should try your local pharmacy brand to see if it works for you. Get a small pack-the store brand is cheapr than the brand names. For the serious soaker there are medical supply brands and others you can order. See the diapers links page on the main site. ( http://bedwettingabdl.homestead.com/Diapers.html ).

         Our babies have told us that molicare super plus (which is purple in color) are the best for night time wetting. But duck tape is good to use because the tapes on the molicare diapers are weak and tend to come loose. There is also molicare classic (which is blue in color) you can use duck tape if  you find it needs it. But we have had raves about CVS pharmacy pull ups diapers are excellent for wearing during the day for light wetting. And the CVS pharmacy diapers are good for more heavier wetting.

But the most asked question is What do I say when I go to the register? First of all it's nobodys business. But if asked say you are buying them for your disabled grand mother/father. That usually shuts them up. I hope this has helped you even a little. Remember you are loved just as you are! Till next time.


  -Mommy Pam and Sandra


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In recent weeks we at the "Ask mommy" link have
received many questions about diaper care.  We felt it would be good to explain the basics.

The first item I would like to talk about is diaper rash.  It can be prevented.  The signs that a rash is developing are
1) Pinkness or redness of the skin 
2) Skin that is extremely sore and painful to the touch..

In really bad cases you can even have blistering.To treat diaper rash there are a few items on the maket.


    First you need to clean the area with soap and warm water and then apply an ointment. The most common are Desitin, Balmex and A&D ointment (we prefer the balmex). You apply the ointment every diaper change until the rash clears and continue using for an extra 7 days to make sure its all gone.

  But even more important than clearing up diaper rash is preventing it. Whenever you "go" in your diaper you need to change and clean yourself properly.  Urine is an acid and when it sits on your skin it causes a burn-diaper rash. That's why its very important to clean well! 

     For some added protection you can use a powder-regular or corn starch. It is also possible to get diaper rash  in the summer due to sweat and rubbing of the diaper on sensitive skin.  Again frequent washing and use of cornstarch should help.

We want all of our AB/DLs to be happy and free from
pain. Diaper rash is one pain that can be avoided. Remember to change and wash often and you will be okay.  We hope this has helped you in some way.  Remember always we love you.

            -Pam & Sandra

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We are writing this open letter to all the AB/DL's who are practicing a dangerous habit, forcing themselves to use the bathroom. This deeply concerns these two mommies because you can cause serious damage to your body. We will examine each way and tell you the dangers.


  Water pills and other diuretics: these are meant for temporary use to relieve bloating or to help heart patients. To over use these drugs could cause damage to your kidneys. Your body gets use to the drug and forgets how to "go" on its own. Or you end up with a bladder that loses its muscle tone and you "go" constantly,then you really need a diaper. Worse case is you end up on dialysis and waiting for a kidney
transplant.


  Enemas, suppositories and other items: Again this was meant to relieve constipation. If you abuse these drugs or use such items as to make you go you are damaging your body. Your body becomes dependant on them and can no longer relieve itself. You will experience stomach cramps with no relief. Worse case here is you end up with a colostomy (a bag is attached to your stomach where all your solid wastes are deposited). You would have to change a bag full of poop every few hours, It's not pretty.


    We are not trying to frighten you but we feel you should be informed. Sometimes the damage may take some time after you stop to even show up. By that time the damage is already done. We are both medically trained. We have worked in hospitals and have seen the damage that has been inflicted first hand.


  You can be a AB/DL without using drugs or artificial ways. We don't wish for you to damage your health to be happy. You can have a wonderful healthy life as a AB/DL and do it safely. If you have a mommy who insists on using these means, we feel you should consider leaving because your best interest is not her concern. We love all of our babies and want only the best for you. Hugs and kisses.


  If you have any other questions about this collum, please e-mail us at stanley_thornton1980@yahoo.com and stanley will forward your questions to us.


     -Pam & Sandra

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I hope everyone is doing fine. I have received over the last few weeks a lot of questions concerning diapers.

One of the most comon is how do I hide the fact that I wear diapers. Obviously if you don't need them,you can skip wearing them to places that might be embarrassing.  But if you have a genuine need, here are a few tips  If you are wearing tailoed of close fitting items-a pull up style is less noticeable.  If you need a more absorbent style of diaper you may need to wear more loose fitting clothes.  Also some of the diapers make noise (because of the plastic) I know  an AB that hangs his keys from his belt-they hear keys not the rustling plastic.

Another common question is what diaper to use? Alot of that depends on you.  How much do you wet-if at all.  They have pull ups, plastic disposable and the old tried and true cloth.You should try your local pharmacy brand to see if it works for you.  Get a small pack-the store brand is cheaper than the brand names.  For the serious soaker there are
medical supply brands and others you can order. See our links for details.

But the most asked question is What do I say when I go to the register? First of all it's nobodys business.  But if asked say you are buying them for your  disabled grand mother/father.  That usually shuts them up.  I hope this has helped you  even a little.  Remember you are loved just as you are! Till next time.

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Hello everyone!  I hope you are enjoying the warm weather.  The time of year (vacation time) and the weather is this month's topic.

To travel as an AB/DL can be challenging to say the least.  Here are a few tips:

1)  Wear a super absorbent diaper-many diaper brands have a overnight or super soaker variety.

2)   Use an absorbent powder-such as corn starch  or use a protective cream-even baby lotion can offer some degree of protection.

3)  Carry a small knapsack/duffel bag with changes of diapers and clothing.  Change at every chance just to be safe.  We just had a baby come to see us and his bus was delayed 8 hours!  Be safe not wet.

4)  When traveling of course keep your drinking to a minimum.

If you plan ahead and just follow some of our suggestions, you should be able to enjoy  traveling 'baby style'.  We here at Mommy's View wish  you a happy summer. As always love to our babies.

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                                           Going On Vacation Diapered:

Going on vacation can be a potentally embarrassing situation. We will cover a few different situations and give suggestions on how to handle it.

Theme Parks: You know you are going to be here for several hours. If you are a light wetter you may be able to get away with inserts or wearing a overnight diaper so you can go several hours without changing.

    For the person who is a more heavier wetter, I will deal with 2 age groups. For the younger children (Under age 8) mom can probably change them in the bathroom. If they are able to change themselves then let them do it.

For ages 8yrs and up my suggestion is to use the handicap stall in the bathroom to change yourself. If this is not possible or you can not change yourself standing up, most theme parks allow you to leave the park, getting your hand stamped for re-entry, you can go to your car and change yourself laying down there. We suggest if you use your car to change to put a blanket over yourself for your privacy.

For the diapering choice for heavy wetters we suggest the Molicare Super. It is a good diaper and very absorbent. And if you need the extra absorbency you can add 1-2 pampers, huggies or other brand of baby diaper, perferably size 6 to boost the amount of pee it can hold. Just keep in mind that the more pee it holds the more heavier it will be to wear. It will also be thicker between the legs and a bit more noticeable.

Camping: Since you are basically on your own time you should be able to change when needed inside your cabin, tent or your camper. If you do not have a tent or anything we suggest you carry 2 blankets with you . One to lay on to change and another to cover you while you change. 

Guided tour/Bus Trip: This should be planned carefully. Know in advance how long the tour or trip is. If it is a bus tour find out if there will be any restroom stops along the way so you can plan a change. Even if you are not wet, change the diaper anyway. You may not have another chance for awhile. Try to find a diaper that can absorb a whole bladder. You can test the diaper by holding your pee till you are about to burst and then pee into the diaper at home first to make sure it will hold when you are on the tour or bus ride.

Any other vacation choice, you will normally be in control of where and when you choose to stop and change. But we hope the information above helps you to plan your next diapered vacation. Just be aware of where your bathrooms are and know how accessible those bathrooms will be to change in. May your next vacation be a happy and dry one. See you next month.
A MOMMY'S VIEW: Posted on August 2003
There are a few AB/DL who have full time mommies. For the new  AB's, that is when you have a "mommy" who treats you as a baby when you are dressed as a baby.  You get to wear a  diaper, use a bottle and there are even places where you can get a adult sized crib and other 'baby'equipment. But of course all of that is optional.

Even though you might not want all of the equipment there are some who just desire the love and understanding of a 'mommy'. Someone who understands and accepts you wearing diapers.The question is then "How do I find a Mommy?"  You can try to find a permanent mommy or occasionally visit one for babysitting. Most mommies charge a fee or their babysitting services. There are some mommies who will take you as a full ime baby and make you part of the family. 

There are no easy answers,but this site is one place to get some referrals.  But the most important thing to do is get referrals from other people on line or anyone you know who has a 'mommy'.  There are some people who are only in the babysitting business for money and some who just do it for the love of it. Above all else-GET REFERRALS.  Maybe
plan to meet your potential mommy in a public place and discuss what you would like. 

For example: do you want to be fed like a baby? do you want a baby bottle? do you want stories read to you at naptime? You get the idea. Also discuss fees and times. Most mommies charge by the hour or by the day. Ask. When you are satisfied with the answers to your question and have met you new mom and checked all your referrals-Go for it. It can add a whole new wonderful chapter to your life as a AB/DL.

Remember, above all else be careful.Know always there is someone out there who loves you. Hugs and kisses Mommy Sandra and Pam.
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